Welcome back to the Create More Possibilities blog! My name’s Petra and I’m the Liberatory Leadership Coach, Facilitator, Radical Social Worker and Emergent Strategist. I help marginalized leaders cultivate liberatory power so they can show up powerfully and fully to make deeper impact.

This transcription is from an IG Live Series called Let’s Talk About Power between myself, Petra Vega of Create More Possibilities and Dr. Cecily Moore @DrCecilyMoore. 

Cecily is committed to helping Black women unlearn the Strong Black Woman scheme as a mental health counselor and coach.

Rather watch the video? Check it out on Instagram.

Don’t have Instagram? I’ve added the video at the end of the transcription.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, cecily, power, conversations, tap, strong black woman, humanity, vulnerability, feel, thinking, folks, gut, person, compassion, questions, create, relationships, share, shit, boundaries

SPEAKERS

Cecily Moore, Petra Vega

Petra Vega  00:01

Hello. Okay, this is the third session of the let’s talk about power series. You see me looking down it’s because I’m looking at my cat and make sure she’s not fighting me. We had some technical difficulties, but I’m gonna see if we can get Cecily II just invited you, Cecily, let’s see if the internet robots are on our side today okay, now we know this is good. I’ve like done two of these. Um, you know, with our friend, Brittani, I’m looking down because I’m messing with my cat. She wasn’t like my my feet. Yeah, we haven’t had anything like this was good that it happened. I’m sorry it happened to you. But it’s good that we experienced it. So now we both know, oh, we gotta be on the phone.

Cecily Moore  01:01

I figured if it was gonna happen to anyone it would happen.

Petra Vega  01:06

It’d be like that. Sometimes. I feel like I’m also that person. So it’s okay. It’s okay. You look nice. I like this earring face lip combo. Well, I was like, I’m not about to let these internet trees drag me today. That’s not going to happen. Okay. All right. So let’s get started. I have if you’re with us, feel free to say hi. I don’t know if you see this asleep. But we can do like a wave gesture to people. I don’t know what that does to people over there. We got a hello. Miss Moore was abducted more. So feel free to say hi, in the comments. If you have questions, there is a quote box with the question mark in it. That’s a good place to put questions because if not, it’ll probably get lost in the sauce. If we turn out to be a chatty group. If you have a comment or a thought or something moves, you feel free to put in the comments. And we’ll try to lift it up as we read, probably I will, because I want to make sure that y’all get all of what Miss Dr. Sesame Moore here has to give to the people. So pay attention to chat, so you can just kind of go. We this is the third part of a four part, let’s talk about power series. My name is Petra Vega of create more possibilities. I am the liberatory leadership coach. And I really focus on helping black and brown folks, queer people, neurodivergent folks, folks on the margins, cultivate their power, right then liberatory power, which is why I wanted to bring all the people that I’m talking to you today. And throughout this month, if you haven’t checked out any of the others, feel free to go on my Instagram and look at the others is boring, like I’m really excited about today, but it’s been real good. So that’s a little bit about me, let me just share what y’all can expect. And then I’m gonna kick it over to Cecily, tell us a little bit more about you what you do. But you can expect us to be here around 30 minutes to an hour, no more than an hour. So feel free to like get whatever you need so that you can be in the presence with us and in this conversation and with your thoughts and feelings. It we’ll see what we kind of come up with today. Cecily might do some prep, but we also just going to be going with the flow and see what comes out what we have to offer. So how are you? How are you, Cecily, how are you? Who are you? We do tell people?

Cecily Moore  03:25

Well, to get adjusted to life back in Tennessee, and doing all the things who am I what do I do? I’m a clinical middle. I run an online private practice for strong black women who are professional mothers coach for strong black women. I am a professor. And I’m a mother of two and military spouse to either. And so what I’m doing these days.

Petra Vega  04:02

I love it. I love it. Sweet. So we have a series of questions today when there might be some other questions that we cover again, q&a box is in the question mark swirly hoping. And so first one to get us started. What is power? Cecily, what is power? How

Cecily Moore  04:20

do you define it? Yes. For me, power is where self efficacy and vulnerability meet. self efficacy is our ability to double down on ourselves to bet on ourselves. Our ability and belief about how we can execute manifest attain things complete a task, right? It’s that belief in oneself. Vulnerability is something that has not always been afforded to black women. And so, for me stepping into power as being a Hold to hold the thing simultaneously.

Petra Vega  05:05

I love that I love that my definition for power is the ability to determine reality. So very much a manifestation in there very much like, there is something inside of me that then becomes true out into the world. And that is power, right that it might be. I asked the question in my stories around, like, how do people access their power and someone was like doing something creative, right? They just like, it’s very much like, you don’t know what might happen. But the ability that we could bring something into the now into the here, that’s powerful, right? And I think when I love that you had a formula you’re like, is these parts. Appreciate I love it. And so I’m gonna, for me, that vulnerability piece is really important. I think given that, like, we that’s something that we all have, but it’s like, who’s allowed to have it and to show it and at what cost? And to why agree, and how do people respond to it?

Cecily Moore  06:02

Yes, it’s not always accessible. And sometimes, especially for black and brown folks, it feels like a luxury. So definitely, my power is knowing that I can both vulnerable, and a black woman, I get to redefine that for myself, I get to redefine that for the generations that are coming after me and make it accessible.

Petra Vega  06:28

Love, right, because then we then it’s more possible for other people, right? Like, once we find it, I think that’s the piece around power too, right? That if you if you know something, or you feel something that might be of service or support to someone like why why wouldn’t you share that right? Or like, let that be the impetus to share it that I’m always thinking about? Like, for me, I’m thinking like, what, what can I say? Or do to set this person free? Right? Like, what what are? What are they entangled with? And how can I be like, you know, absolute? Sweet. So I asked you this question. I’m curious if it’s changed, right, but this question around, either. When did you first feel your power, if you can locate the first time, or when is just the time that you felt powerful? And for folks who are watching with us think about think about that, too, right? What? When When can you be like, oh, yeah, that was a powerful last moment. I was in that I

Cecily Moore  07:26

did that. Was that for you? Yes. And I think whenever we talked about it, we talked about two specific things. The first time that I felt powerful, or I was really stepping into my power, right is my first job. I was 14, I wasn’t supposed to be working. A cafe. And I think that really taught me a lot about myself about my capacity, about my work ethic about my hustle, I already had a lot of rebellious energy. It really taught me this entrepreneurial spirit that I have the ability to kind of double down on myself and bet on myself. That’s something that like if you know me, my friends and family say Cecily has done better on herself. And I think being 14, being able to sustain myself and work and create possibilities, not only for myself, but for my younger sister, and be like, oh, like I’m capable of this. What? That set me free in a lot of ways. Like it really created some tension in the household between myself and my parents, because I was like, Yo, can you tell me shit. And at that time in my life, like for a 14 year old, it was quite a bit of money, like I was making what my dad was making on a 40 hour workweek. And so it really taught me a lot about capitalism. Classes. There were a whole lot of lessons in that time. And it was really, it was really formative for me. But the second time that I felt most powerful in this, this has been repeated twice is whenever I had my children, and that’s really where self efficacy and vulnerability met. Like I was literally on the table. Guts cut open at our most vulnerable, but holding babies knowing like it just got real. And my life will never be the same but at the same time it has to change and it’s on me to do it. And so yeah, like oh, what I think about it, it gives me chills.

Petra Vega  09:52

I got it too and and when you told me the story when you and I were prepping I was like oh I have similar similar stories. I also think it just points to right that you and I have ever are of, in some places similar and different social locations and identities right away. But the thing around I know people may not be into labels, right, but believe will serve a purpose in this kind of way, right that when we talk about black and brown people, there can be some shared experience or, or knowing in that kind of way. So when you share that story, it pulled out for me, I’m like, I don’t think about this at all. But remembering again, I think, for us, in New York, you were like, allowed to start working your 15. So probably like your state’s 14, and I got my first job. And I started working since that age, and being and when I started this job, and then I think it was like, the middle of high school and I want to start applying to college, I think I had the same job for years. Right. And then I was applying to FAFSA. And this is what I share with you that I was like, bewildered by having to file independent because what I made off a summer and a few weekends, and a year was more than my mama was getting on public benefits. Right? And so by that technicality in terms of income, I, the state was like, oh, yeah, you run you, aren’t you in any kind of way? And I was like, how?

Cecily Moore  11:18

Yet? Isn’t that wild? And it’s funny that you said that. So in Tennessee at the time, you had to be 15 to work. But this this rebellious energy that I got, I was looking around, like, Yo, Patti knows the rules. Well, the Bindo. And that taught me a lot about power and liberation and freedom, right? If you know the rules well enough, like you can really play the game. And so that experience at 15 years old, it was pivotal for my life.

Petra Vega  11:53

So that’s the right surround around like being able to sustain yourself, right? I’m just like, think about the thing sustaining yourself seeing like in relation to your own self and some other institutional structure powers, whatever news like I can figure this thing out, right? I can stand on my own. And in a particular kind of way that I’m that just gives you new air, right, there’s like some other kind of vibe that I’m not sure how to describe, right. And I’m like, I’m not a parent. So I don’t share that one. Thinking about us, like, I want to make sure that we have a diversity of experience. And I in my first life, someone was talking about like, working and someone else kind of bringing them closer to their power. And I was with my friend Tiffany. And then last week with Brittani, we got into around families and boundary stuff. And so the thing I was thinking about today was just like, Okay, what’s another facet that power can look like? So if people are like thinking about it, if they’re in it, because I also feel like this live has been a little bit of a love letter for people that are like, something’s got to give, and I’m like, hey, we want to watch this, right? Like, it might be your time, you might get some nuggets to be like, oh, people out here doing this thing. But so the point for me that I can think about happened like, five years ago, and one of my relationships, right, and it was it. It was a romantic relationship. That was it wasn’t shit. It was like the worst thing I’ve ever been in. But I, I just got to a point that I was like, I could do better, I could do better, I could feel better. I deserve better, right? And I just like, had that realization I was thinking about the thing that prompted me was this podcast episode that was like, when you say no, you make way for your guests, right? And so the ways in which I was letting this person in my life and loving me in a way that I didn’t want to be loved. And I was like, well, this can be different, like I could, I could stay here and it would be fine. But I’m like, I could become better than fine, right? I could be more than this. Yeah, making that leap. And being able to communicate to this person, like, this is how I’m feeling this, what I’m thinking this is kind of what I need. And vice versa. They tell me if there’s like ways that I can be a better partner to you. But taking power in that moment of being like, Oh, I’m not going to wait for this other person to make that decision or to wait for it to get bad enough. But I’m like, I just don’t it could be better right? And just like I say no here who knows what could come along. And so when I shared that with this person, and they like they did what people do, right, they do good for a little bit and then he just get off and you continue to do what you do. And I was like, Oh, no. That That ended but then that made I met my partner that I have now a week later, and I was just like, could have been stuck there could have been stuck there and being like, this is fine. Or like, oh, maybe it’ll get better but it like it took me betting on myself. Right. Right. And yourself. I’m gonna be here. I can. Yeah, yeah. So that was a power moment that I wanted to share around like even in your relationships, like I don’t don’t need to be like garbage for you to be like, some new, you know, it’s definitely multi dimensional. See? Alright, so let’s get into what makes it hard, right? Because it’s not is that’s real right for people who may be like, I want to set a boundary, I want to do something differently, or I want to align my thoughts with my actions, that shit is hard. So from your vantage point, what do you feel like adds to the heart, and it’s just so we can name some of that stuff for people where it might be in a gut, and I was gonna bring it out in the mouth. What makes what makes accessing power hard, the ability to have those conversations with yourself to tap into self trust and like, say, here’s

Cecily Moore  15:44

what, here’s how I’m feeling, lack of community isolation inability or never having been been demonstrated what vulnerability looks like to say like, this is the state of my humanity. Right now, I’m in a pretty dark place. Something needs to move, something needs to change, something needs to happen, right? Like you said, you could have been stuck there. And lack of self awareness. Like I’m a counselor, educator. And that’s the hardest thing to teach students, even your clinicians like the self awareness piece. We’d be out here doing all kinds of things. Hula hooping, jump roping, the person looking you in the mirror. And so I think the inability to tap into those things, or even just give yourself compassion, to know like, it’s a journey and you’re not always gonna get it right. But when we’re out here distracted and dodging it avoiding those things. It makes power really hard to access

Petra Vega  16:57

and loving. Yeah, yeah, I think that the one of the things that I want to cultivate is what I do with my, with my clients is this piece around compassion, right is like, and I’m naming it is like an evolving skills, right? That if you evolution, growing, deepening, transforming something that you want to do, what are particular skills, and I’m like, compassion is a big one, right? Because when you do muster up the courage, which I will say is another one to kind of look at your life in a particular way to look at your business in a particular way to look at your relationships in a way your work, how you work, what you do, how you feel. And you acknowledge the truth of what is really there. You know, because of oppression, and all of these things, and trauma, we can be like, how did you not know and like, you were just the worst thing ever, and you can and then I was in a group a few weeks ago, and someone was like, how do we make sure people don’t go through this shame door? And I love that reference, right? There was like, if we can own our stuff, and it might be our stuff, right? The other people’s stuff, right? But just acknowledging that, like, I don’t want this right, or this isn’t sitting right with me. And if there are like two doors, certainly lots of doors, but if one of them is around shame, how can we help people go through the door of compassion? This like, Yeah, makes sense for you not to know, right? Or it makes sense for you to do the things that you was doing, or my favorite and you know, this is like a mental health person, that you’re like, your body and your thoughts, even though they can be hella fucking mean? Like, they’re really just trying to take care of you. The things that they’re saying. And if you I have anxiety, and so I’m like, can you stop shaking? Stop moving things? Yeah, like, what? I know you’re trying to take care of me. You don’t want me to converse? But like, what are you communicating to me? Right? So really requires like, the compassionate curiosity and taking a moment, which if like, if you’ve never done that, and she’s gonna be real hard, right? I know something you and I were thinking about, right? This like, as people are maybe having these reflections while we talk or from our conversation, like, how can people do it in a safe receptacle, right, just like, look at all the parts in your life, if you haven’t, that kind of response and just know that, like, your body’s not talking to you, right, in a way that maybe it wasn’t before. And so he she they see Ma’am, I shouldn’t say no, that,

Cecily Moore  19:21

yes. And then brought that up. Because as you were talking, I was literally thinking to me all the time, and they’re like, I want to get rid of body and I’m like, I’m probably not the person for you. Right? Like, I don’t want you to get rid of it because that means you’re void of pointless feeling. You’re not human right? You can’t honor your humanity and the humanity of others and we don’t want to do that. But if you can, with those things, listening to those things, then depression or anxiety is no longer in the driver’s seat. In role, and that’s an important thing for folks to understand. And I mean, even in full transparency, whenever you asked me or invited me to this conversation, like, I was dancing with a whole lot of stuff, I was like, Wait, this is consume. But I had to tap back into my power. I had to sit down and say, Cecily, what all are you dealing with? What is the magnitude of this situation, your husband’s deploy, your kids are losing it, you’re overwhelmed, do those things, and really have some honest conversations with myself about the state of my humanity, and what I needed to do to tap back into power. And it’s getting in community with like minded folks where their safety, those conversations about the state of my humanity, and what all is going on out there.

Petra Vega  21:03

And I love them like y’all, we need to come right down please. state of my humanity, right. And I’m like, we got a state of the Office of the press Earth bucket is the government data the thing of, but I’m like, what is the state of my humanity? How do I tap into my aliveness? And my humaneness? How do I recognize that I am like, a spirit? Is this what you believe? And feel free to translate this metaphor, whatever applies to you, but I’m a spirit in a meat sack, and I’m having an experience. And so how am I being present to this experience? Right? And where and where is it just like, Oh, my God, it might have to feel it, you might write and for me, I would agree with you. And I’m like, if you’re here, my I don’t know what you thought it was doing. But I’m like, You got to go through it to get on the other side.

Cecily Moore  21:49

Absolutely, absolutely. And that’s the biggest thing that I tell clients with therapy, right, like, it’s gonna get real ugly before I get better. Yeah, I’m always like, I’m happy for you. You’re on this healing journey, and you have all the things that you want to accomplish. But it’s about to get real nasty, okay, here. Give yourself the compassion to like, feel through that.

Petra Vega  22:22

I love it. I love it. I love it. Hello people, people, people who are joining us, if you have questions, there’s a question box. If you have comments, put in the comments, your thoughts and things, I’m gonna say hi, my baby, I’m gonna like, I know, people.

Cecily Moore  22:35

I’m looking at the chat. I’m like, these are all my family members, like,

Petra Vega  22:41

get some outlets that people love. I love that. And I think the thing that I was thinking about, especially as you know, you and I, as entrepreneurs, right, that I don’t know what feedback you’ve gotten, but some of the people that I’ve gotten, it’s like, Oh, you like out here and doing this thing. And what I want to share here, and then I’ll like, chop this and put in another place so people don’t get, don’t get it twisted, right that I’m like, this should took work to show up in this kind of way. To be open to be honest, in the kind of way I’m inviting all of you to be honest. And to trust me and for me to create this container where, let’s see what comes with it. Right and that we’re gonna be okay, at the end of it. Um, that I know someone that was in one of our groups in our the mastermind that we were in, right was sharing around the difficulty of kind of showing and doing this kind of thing. And I’m like, That shit is real, right? And so for me that look like having to acknowledge them, like this shit is real hard, right? I’m an introvert. I haven’t talked to the internet for like, 10 years since college. And now I have a business I need to talk to the internet in hopes to like connect with people. Absolutely. So I had to be mad. I had to be like this funny bullshit. Why can’t people just find you? Right? And then I was like, Okay, we was mad. Now what are we? And I’m like, Oh, now we’re afraid like, okay, let’s let’s be afraid. Let’s be in the cave. Let’s hide a little bit. Now. It’s like, okay, we’ve been went through anger and fear. It’s like the stages of grief. Right? But like,

Cecily Moore  24:10

I was like, the grief process.

Petra Vega  24:16

I know, like, I have all the levels. And I’m a Gemini. So I’m like, I got a lot of levels. I gotta go through all of them. And sometimes it could take a few months. Sometimes it could take a few weeks. And that’s just about learning how you process and how you do right. So when I did that, then I was like, Okay, we did through all of it. Now we’ve had to do it was like, let’s do it. And so we are here, right? And so we just have no idea what people need to do behind the scenes to do all this stuff out here to be like, setting these boundaries and being like, I don’t want that and I want this and this is what I want from my life. Now that shit is Work.

Cecily Moore  24:51

Work. Students ask me all the time, like, how do I become an effective counselor? Like what do I do? And I’m like, do But I mean, the society that we’re in is built on meritocracy. So if like, we’ve been taught to be great students, and they’re like, No, I want to like write a paper and you say that I’m competent. I’m like, That ain’t got nothing to do with what you’re about.

Petra Vega  25:19

Yeah, I remember I used to supervise social work students, I’ve trained a lot of babies, social workers who want to change the system. And like, I wanted to, I don’t want it here, nobody that nobody else. And I know, not all of that can can be done in my lifetime. So I’m, like, take my bit, right. But I remember them being like, so did it work? Was it effective, and I do the theory, and I’m like, what the person say, they feel freer, lighter, more affirmed that they have a little bit more belief in humanity, and that we, you know, we do some shitty shit, but it’s not all shitty. And he was like, yeah, they left they said, they felt better. They weren’t in they weren’t.

Cecily Moore  25:55

Right. And so it’s so crazy, because students are like, I want to be social justice advocates, I want to do the thing, I want to change the world. And I’m like, first, you have to be socially just within yourself.

Petra Vega  26:07

You gotta get right within.

Cecily Moore  26:09

Why are you always turning it back on me, because at the end of the day, the individual isn’t for.

Petra Vega  26:23

It’s gonna take person, that person. And so some people that may be the focus, and some people like I’m an organizer, so our focus is around like macro and systems, but also people make up systems, right, that the things that we don’t want to happen that are like institutionalizing, like people make those decisions, don’t

Cecily Moore  26:40

Yes. Or you start with the individual, you are going to impact other, those folks are going to have an impact on others, it will then affect the meso and the macro system, are made up of

Petra Vega  26:58

focus on your locus, start with your locus, and then capacity, access, resource, whatever to do more. But while you are building that muscle or creating those relationships, there’s a whole circle right here. Just your circle room. Good.

Cecily Moore  27:17

We want the top down approach though, right? Because we don’t want to focus on the inner being and do that hard work because like you said, it’s so uncomfortable. Yeah.

Petra Vega  27:29

Okay, so we talked about the hardness now, how do we access it? What helps you remind yourself about your power, bring yourself closer to your power and allow that power to just like seep out of you?

Cecily Moore  27:40

What you do? Yes, first is always truth teller and conversate is honoring the state of my humanity, regardless of what that state is, if it’s complete chaos, or if you know, things are going peachy King, having those conversations, like you said about your definition with power, right, honoring the reality. And so really, really having those conversations, but also tapping into community community is big for me. I’m an introvert. And so the community has to be curated. is yes. And so community is super important. And I know that when I’m operating in the strong black woman schema, I tend to isolate, I don’t need no community, I can do it on my own. And so when I’m not accessing my power, I’m acting in direct opposition to those things. In order for me to be able to access power, safety has to be given the chaos in my life right now. Because there is safety in our relationship, I don’t get in to advertise stuff, but there’s safety in this, this space, so that I can be vulnerable and have these conversations, right. And then that self trust, knowing that whatever the reality of humanity is, I do have the resources and the tools to to be okay, like really betting on yourself. That has been super important to me. When you when you first asked the question about power, you know, I told you how my brain works. I came up with the acronym I was like, Oh, perfect. Opportunity and obstacles, wealth, wealth of knowledge and health, energy, honor and those boundaries, right. And rest like it was that was a no brainer. For me the brain works but when you get on the deeper level and talk about like how to access those things. It’s a lot deeper than just a formula or an acronym. When do you talk about your energy boundaries are important but something that we have to realize is that the boundaries aren’t for the other person. Like that’s about self awareness. That’s about what you need. Stacy Jordan Shelton taught me that right? rez, like there’s seven different types of rest. And so there are a lot of things that you have to do to kind of tap in with who you are, like what your wants, needs and desires are and get comfortable in articulating those things. And it’s not always going to be pleasantries. It will be difficult, but your ability to be consistent and continue to show up allows you to get good at this thing allows you to reset right like, oh, you call me. I’m out here looking chaotically bugging it out, right? But But I can tighten up because I have folks around me I have community where their safety so that I can have those truth telling conversations and tap back into my power.

Petra Vega  31:04

I love it reminds me I listened to this podcast, how to survive the end of the world and they had an episode on friendship. And they were saying like a friend, well, they may or may not let you know, when you like you’re doing a lot or you’re doing live stuff that I know you don’t want to it’s not in service of you. And they may right but another version and I think it speaks so highly of the friendship that I have now and I appreciate having is like you might let me do the wild thing, right? But you’ll come back and be like, I still love you. How does it not become a like I told you so where I’m like, person do that? Yes. And that’s when you step into your power. It doesn’t threaten you or your being doesn’t take anything away from you to be a friend or when somebody is doing the most to personalize their actions, you understand that this is the deck of their humanity right now. And that’s a really hard concept for people to get the other folks behavior it really ain’t always about you. It’s even the unloved that is like a another way to access right to think about there was in the in the Masonite, you and I were in someone was on the call. I was like well, I post something. And it’s kind of sort of controversial, but not really. And then people want me to just like, do all this labor that I don’t want to write and they and we’ve talked about around like, well you can internalize is that that’s your job is to do all of that labor. Or you can decide that this is a grown ass human on the internet. And they will run they will live their lives. And now remember this comment or like not be committed to you doing this thing that you have decided is like what you need to be doing right? So gut check in. And Brittany gave us a lot of questions to around this. It’s like gut checking. What are the assumptions that you’re making here about what you need to be doing about what other people need to be put in? And Where’s that coming from? That I think about like one of the things that I’m committed to in my work is to have our people right folks, us us on the margins in various ways to unlearn the lies, right the lies that were like unlovable, unworthy, unable like all that is push it we have such history and in our own lived experience at best it is not true, but how we can still in some ways be like how can i How could I like how could you not?

Cecily Moore  33:37

Absolutely, folks, I all the time. Why don’t you work with strong black women to help them unlearn that shit white to help them reappropriate their strength and redefine what it means to be a strong black woman.

Petra Vega  33:55

So those that were there was another one that I thought about while you were chatting You mentioned around journaling that I’m very I’m someone who’s like you need to put we could stay really here but we got to get more with here and in the heart or in your gut or like intuition might come in and shoulders legs rabbit comes from right but like the relationship with that place, right? And for me, I’m also a big journaler I picked up in the past few years Taro is like a spiritual practice right that I’m like, I believe that the universe is in connection with me and for you that may be God and maybe some massive maybe nothing right? But there’s peace around connection so that you know, it’s not just you, which challenges all the systems of oppression, it’s like you are the only one that can do the thing. You’re the only one that matters potentially or you’re the one that doesn’t matter or you speak for everyone all of this stuff. It’s like so hell bent on the individual. Undo all have that right and see like, how am I connected with everything that’s around me, or the people that are around me with my own body and relationship? And so when I’m not sure if something I might pull a card Right. And if I already believe it, I’m like, whatever this message, the message is for me. What can I find from it? And I know some people may like, see situations and be like, what’s the silver lining? That’s not what I’m saying. And I’m like, there might not be no silver, probably there shouldn’t be no fucking lightning. But in terms of like, we have an attention. And so where where do you want your attention? Right? Do you want is your attention on like, this is the worst thing ever? And I’m, I deserve it like, oh, that’s, that’s and that’s I don’t want that no one had that that pill, right? Like, is this is this the worst thing ever? And I don’t want that. I don’t want I don’t I don’t want to internalize it right that I like made. I think I mentioned I asked people in my stories like how do you access your power to give us some light to some of these questions. And what I shared was something in a ha moment I had was like, I will not betray my intuition. That’s what I don’t want to learn. There’s so many ways that we can be told, like, listen to no shades of these, listen to your mama, listen to your art, listen to the pastor listen to the president should even listen to us. Right that they’re speaking from a place of hurt. Like filtering, right? Like, does this nourish you? Do you feel filled by this conversation that you might want to reach out to us work with us in some kind of way? Or just being our aura? And if not, you like? Talking about Go with God? Get out of here. Like don’t Please don’t. For the sake of you and for us, don’t be anywhere that does not feed you, right. And so that’s a resource, even just being like, you add a place and I’m again, we introverted, so I think you might get it right then like I’m at a place and I’m like, I’m only gonna be here for an hour. And I don’t want to be here no more, right? And I’m like, I’m not gonna do that to myself. I know what I could engage as an hour in so I could go over it and learn that that’s too much. And then I’m fucked up for a few days. Or I could be like, Girl, what did you think you were and be like, come on, we’re gonna get out of here in an hour. And then I’ll be like, Thank you.

Cecily Moore  37:03

Absolutely, absolutely. honoring your boundaries,

Petra Vega  37:08

honor your boundaries, and what your capacity, all of that honor. Okay, so we’re wrapping up around the 15 Minute, 45 minute, Mark. And so we have I think, think just one more, and then I’ll check to see any questions if anyone has any questions put in the question box. But what’s helping you tap into your power right now, Cecily, what was bringing you power today?

Cecily Moore  37:32

That I probably don’t want to admit is like having a schedule. A lot of rebellious energy. Yes, but realistically, that is helping me tap into my power. But also those daily check ins. I remember a point in time in my life where like, I didn’t want to look in the mirror, right and like, see, Cecily. But if I didn’t want to see Cecily, then I couldn’t have this truth telling conversations, right? Like I was running for myself. So making sure that I am checking in daily and fans says how are we feeling? Like we’re good? Where are we at today? And asking yourself, like, what do you need? What do you need in this moment, and being vulnerable enough to say, like, Hey, I got a lot on me, I need some help. You know, I need to reach out to my community and my network. And so really just getting in a practice of doing that has not only helped me tap into my power but created a sense of stability and what feels like a chaotic time.

Petra Vega  38:41

I love it. Right? So like the inner self-trust you mentioned earlier, the inner stability, that’s all the stuff that like the roads gonna do what the world is doing family, yes, they gonna do what they do it but like, are we good? Like, are we? Yes,

Cecily Moore  38:59

and not personalizing someone else’s lack there of like, yeah, I may say, like, in a vulnerable place, and I need help, but that person may not have the capacity to meet me where I am and understand, like, that’s not about me. They’re dealing with their own things, right. And so then you have to tap back into that self trust and say, okay, know, What’s plan B, what do we need to do? And so really listening to your body knowing that the anxiety or the depression or whatever it is, it’s not here to take you out. It’s not your enemy. It’s self preservation like it’s doing its job. But if we’re out here, ducking and dodging, that’s where the chaos

Petra Vega  39:50

just the whole world. I love it. I love it. I think what? What’s helping me tap into my power right now? is that this is like if you I don’t know if you have pets, but I’m just learning a lot from being a new cat parent to this kitty I have. And so something that the internet has told us is like when she bites us, we need to distract her with some balls. And I think about how like on a philosophical level, I’m like, if I had kids, I don’t want to yell at them. I want to do like, you know, some gentle parenting type stuff. But when this isn’t a child, and I get that, and people who even refer their animals as children, I’m like, What the hell like, get it now. It’s very nice. So while I was getting together for this thing, I’m like, in my head, I’m like, I’m like, Oh, that’s not in alignment with the things that I believe, right? And so really, to practice what I preach, right, and so and being able to do that in a way that I’m not like, Oh my God, you’re Photoshop, right? Where I’m like, holy, imagine that might have been a voice 10 years ago, when I started doing this work now, but I’m just like, oh, wow, like, oh, yeah, you’re just like, you’re angry and upset. And this is how you’re like expressing it. And also, she don’t fucking know. Like, she’s just playing, right. So even what you’re seeing around, like, putting it in kind of her view, like she just thinks is a fucking toy. Yes. So how can I extend some like, Okay, I know, we met, she’s playing, how do we divert? Like, what can we do here? You know, and so that for me, I’m like, oh, boy, I just have the capacity to change to reflect to see myself honestly, to not be shitty to myself in order for that to be the thing to make me change. Yeah, we’re I think that we some people believe that right? That tough love stuff. I’m not That’s not me. If you look at me, I don’t know. I mean, like, I love a pony through what I needed, right? So punitive stuff that like, you read, or you do all of a sudden, suddenly, I don’t want that. And as someone who still doesn’t want it, how it can still creep up on

Cecily Moore  41:55

Oh, right. Oh, yes. Absolutely. And even listening, say that, like I was thinking about my kids, like, kids will humble you. Three, four. You know, I’m driving and I’m just in my own little world, the kids are in the backseat. I look in the rear view. My six year old is looking at me she says, Mom, are you okay? And I had to then in turn be like, yeah, baby, but then looking at myself in the mirror and say, but aren’t you all right? And had to come back to her and say, You know what, mommy wasn’t okay, but Mommy’s going to be okay. And she’s going to be okay in a healthy way. Because I want Sanaya to be okay, like my work my coaching with a strong black woman. It’s breaking generational barrier. It’s the same way you said like, I want to be a gentle parent because that’s not what I had. Right? But that’s what I needed. And so being able to recognize when I’m operating outside of alignment and open so when somebody check you and say you look wow, down here right and I’m noticing something you know, right? Right. And I reflect on it I’m like I told my baby I was okay but it’s because I was lying to myself yeah, so I had to not only double back and have a truth telling conversation with myself, I had to have a true telephone conversation with my baby

Petra Vega  43:33

and to model it right that I think it’s also the I don’t know if this is something that you know, if you do groups and workshops and stuff and we we should talk about that sometime but like one of the things that I offer is like allow yourself to be changed yeah and allow yourself to change your mind right the in that moment if you was like right and as part of the the strong black woman schema that you like saying what your chest and whatever it is you shrink down in it and you was like I’m fine and what however it is it you said it right and then fucking fine but don’t don’t let her see like that. Is your partner we can do? Just like don’t let them see you do the nickel fashion like, nobody. Maybe they are but like fuck, but really, they’re like what they’re seeing is like, Oh, she saw something. She didn’t mean it. She came back she told me what it was right?

Cecily Moore  44:26

I can I wasn’t doing anything that suggests that I wasn’t I was driving. I was tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. She felt my energy. Okay, wow. So that I don’t want to do is create this sense of incongruence around my humanity for my kids, because if I do that for them, then they can’t tap into their power. How did they learn self efficacy and vulnerability Huh

Petra Vega  45:02

Wait, you know, bring it full circle Cecily. I’ll be delivering out here. Is there anything else that you want to share about this? I’ll check again, if you have any thoughts if there’s any questions, anything else you want to share before we come to a close and I profusely thank you for all that you have offered today?

Cecily Moore  45:21

No, it’s been great. I have enjoyed my time. I don’t spend a lot of time it’s been so

Petra Vega  45:31

good. Thank you so much, again, for your intention, your vulnerability, I remember the checks that we had and I’m like, this not to be good, right? This is like, coming with it. And all you had to do to come here and so I want to publicly thank the thank you in front of the people right that like you put in some work for this and I see you and I appreciate you. Thank you, Petra, you’ve created a safe space for me to do so. So thank you. Okay, I’m gonna talk to you later.

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