You want to know
How can I stop doubting myself?
because self-doubt has been in the driver’s seat long enough
(and you’re wondering whether I might be the leadership coach that can help you)
The not-so-obvious reason it can be hard to stop doubting yourself
White Supremacy, Capitalism and Patriarchy teaches us that there is a “right way” to be, to think and to do things.
And for us living in marginalized identities, we are made to feel like just because we don’t fit into the “mythical norm” that we have to abandon the part of us that wants to be, think or do things that are most authentic to us.
It’s no wonder why self-doubt, imposter syndrome and perfectionism come strolling in sharing their two cents when you want to bring your whole self to your leadership.
But what if more of us knew about how internalized oppression could also be one of the forces that makes it hard to speak up and be your authentic self as a marginalized person.
What if we understood self-doubt to be one of the ways that marginalized and racialized folks have learned to cope and respond to external and systemic oppression?
Like the way that self-doubt can provide a sense of safety, protection and stability in some ways (even though it’s getting in the way of you speaking up confidently in the moment.)
But there are ways for us to work through that contradiction (in a playful, 6th grade experiment kind of way!)
Liberatory Leadership is about disrupting the flavor of self-doubt that is fueled by internalized oppression and relearning humanity-affirming ways of being.
Ways to bring more authenticity into your leadership
Explore the playground of possibilities so you can stop sacrificing authenticity in your leadership and start speaking up confidently in the moment, regardless of who’s in the room.
deepen your systemic analysis around power and oppression
So You Wanna Be Less Oppressive
“I want to feel like I actually know what I’m talking about when it comes to challenging oppression and advocating for social justice.”
Get clarity and guidance around one specific issue
Spark Session
“I want to be vulnerable and talk openly about how I’m feeling and also be challenged in a good way.”
SPEAK UP IN THE MOMENT, WITH CONFIDENCE AND CONSISTENCY
Steady + Ready
“I’d like to gain more self-confidence in sharing my ideas, promoting my work and not overthinking what I want to say to the point of not saying anything at all.”
Integrate liberatory, anti-oppressive APPROACHES INTO YOUR WORK
Values-Aligned Action
“I want to work with a coach who shares my identities and who is grounded in liberatory practice to help me be in integrity with my values and vision.”
So You Wanna Be Less Oppressive 3-part Workshop Recording Series
Deepen your systemic analysis around power, privilege and oppression. Create change in ways that are unique-to-you and your values.
WHO'S THIS FOR?
What's included?
How much does this cost?
Spark Session
Receive clarity and guidance around what you can do to address one specific leadership dilemma or issue.
WHO'S this FOR?
What's included?
How much does this cost?
Steady + Ready
Get personalized support and tools to feel confident in using your words and sharing your ideas without self-doubt keeping you quiet.
WHO'S this FOR?
What's included?
How much does this cost?
Values-Aligned Action
Get long-term guidance, support, tools and accountability to act in ways that match your values.
WHO'S this FOR?
What's included?
How much does this cost?
What folks like you have to say after working with me
I will continue to grow as I face the unknown
“I appreciated being seen and heard so authentically. I could tell you were listening from all dimensions. I’m walking away with the understanding that I’m not the same person I was before. I’ve evolved to this point and I will continue to grow as I face the unknown and evolve as my new self.”
~ Laura, Service Designer, Founder of Oh I See Membership, Artist, and Mom
Focus on what is important and what matters
“Initially, I was struggling with doubt, fear of failure, and imposter syndrome. Petra helped me focus on what is important and what matters. It was all the care, connection, and collaboration I needed all in one session. I left the session feeling empowered and confident about how I want to show up personally and professionally.”
~ Patrease, Program Director, Personal Development Coach, Therapist, Consultant
Discussing difficult topics can be fun
“Petra is great at guiding the conversation in the ways you need! Her personality is captivating and entertaining. Even when you’re discussing difficult topics she makes it fun!”
~Ryann, Nonprofit Manager is Environmental & Social Justice
Free DIY Resources
want bite-sized support delivered to your inbox?
Wondering if internalized oppression is showing up in your leadership?
Not sure how to make change when you're only one person?
wanna give feedback that actually helps, not harms?
Self-care is important but you don't always make time for it until now
Would we be a good fit to work together?
If the universe algorithm destines us to work together
You’re the kind of person who loves…
- movies like The Matrix and The Truman Show (and sees how they relate to the world as it is)
- books about science fiction like The Parables Series by Octavia E. Butler or Lakelore by Anna Marie McLemore
- books about healing like You Are Your Best Thing by Tarana Burke + Brené Brown or The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor or
- books about social change like Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown or Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
- using words like ‘nonprofit industrial complex’ or ‘righteous anger’ or ‘housing is a human right’ or ‘eat the rich’
- staying home whenever possible
- leaning on the-powers-that-be, the universe and/or ancestors for guidance
- the idea of living off the land with your peoples sounds hella enticing, but you aren’t fully bought into it cause it could get culty, real quick
The one moment that my clients relate to the most
Picture the last time you were asked for your opinion in front of a group of people.
Let’s say that what you had to share was the exact opposite of what everyone had shared already.
You feel conflicted.
Part of you wants to be honest with your opinion but you’re immediately flooded with questions like:
- What if people don’t like what I have to say?
- What if I have no idea what I’m talking about?
- What if people think less of me?
- What if no one understands what I’m trying to say?
- What if people don’t like me?
- What if my opinion is wrong or hurtful?
So what do you do?
The part of you that has learned to stay quiet wins
You end up staying quiet.
Staying quiet doesn’t quite feel like a choice for you but it’s what you know how to do. You’ve been doing it so long, it feels like second nature.
Maybe you spend some time thinking about what you coulda/ shoulda/ woulda said if you could turn back time?
I’ve landed in these places too.
Shit I bet that deciding not to speak at that moment is your best course of action because at least you’re safe— life has taught you that you’ll be safer when people don’t know what you’re honestly thinking or feeling.
What happens when silence becomes a habit?
When you learn that being silent is the best way to keep you safe, then anytime you want to speak up, you learn to doubt yourself.
What do you think your life would look like if self-doubt wasn’t so front and center the way it is now?
Maybe you would say:
- I would stop censoring myself and show up, more fully.
- I could share more of my knowledge and experience, freely.
- I would make decisions faster and not be so worried about failing or making mistakes
- I would be making the change I want to see in the world.
- I would be more brave and bold.
All of these desires live in the hard-won land of being unapologetic and authentic AF (and this land is waiting for you to come back home).
Experiences from folks like you after 6 months of Liberatory Leadership coaching
Take on challenges even when I’m afraid
“I chose Petra because of her energy and positivity. Working with Petra includes doing the hard work, but having fun while doing it. I’m walking away with impetus to take on challenges that I’m capable of, even if I’m afraid, an about page that is descriptive of my whole person and a codification of my values –something I hadn’t even realized I needed!”
~ Maggie, Self-Employment Coach
Willingness to see and share parts of myself that are “in process”
“I realized that for a long time, I have been stifling my creativity & not making room for queerness as a part of my identity, and that this was related to my sense of safety & belonging. It’s definitely going to be a slow process but one of my takeaways from coaching has been a renewed commitment to my creative practices of making music & writing poetry, and a willingness to see and share parts of myself with others that are “in process”.
~Leah, Education Consultant
My philosophy on
WTF I believe about liberation, leadership, self-doubt and speaking up
On liberation…I believe liberation is an inside job
I have seen too many of us go into social change only to come out burned out or burned by one (or too many!) nonprofits because we aren’t doing the inner work of personal liberation.
And you best believe I’m not the first one to land at this realization…
- Martin Luther King, Jr said “All meaningful and lasting change begins on the inside.”
- Grace Lee Boggs said “Transform Yourself to Transform the World”
- bell hooks once wrote “the enemy within must be transformed before we can confront the enemy outside.”
While all the greats might have had different ways to get at the inner work we all need to do, I take the playful approach.
(P)ause → Stage 1 is all around discovering how self-doubt specifically shows up and functions in your leadership
(L)eave + Love → Stage 2 is about identifying how self-doubt has helped (in keeping you safe) and has harmed (in the form of disconnection from yourself and others) so that you aren’t shaming or shitting on your coping strategies
(A)dventure → Stage 3 is where we start playing around with skills, supports and spirit of self-trust
(Y)ay → Stage 4 is how we actually start cementing those lessons from your experimentation into the core of who you are by using the feelings and facts from Stage 1-3 to inform what is and is not working (without celebration, there is no integration)
Personal liberation work asks us to unlearn White Supremacy culture characteristics and re-learn Qualities of Regenerative and Liberatory Culture.
When we don’t do the inner work of personal liberation, we could repeat the same harms that our work is trying to heal in the world.
On leadership…I believe leadership is a way of moving with people, not a position you hold at some job.
I know that traditional, “business-as-usual” leadership (largely informed by hierarchical, oppressive systems) tells us that in order for us to be seen as leaders, we need to be:
-
-
- Objective (by seeing ourselves as separate and disconnected from our colleagues and team members)
- All-Knowing (cause we don’t want anyone to “catch us slipping” and think we don’t deserve the roles that we have)
- Extroverted (so that people will see us as the bold authority that we are)
-
I don’t subscribe to any of these ideas about leadership so I’ve come up with my own.
I define leadership as an ongoing process of being responsible for self and responsive to others.
It’s the difference between “do as a say” and “let’s come up with a decision together”.
In nature, I look to birds flocking as a form of leadership.
Some birds decide to travel together, to move towards a unified direction and when the bird at the very tip of the V formation shifts, another bird takes its place; that’s the kind of leadership I want in the world.
Where leadership means we each play our position and when we need to shift that position, we trust ourselves to do it.
On self-doubt…I believe that the self-doubt that BIPOC and LGBTQ+ leaders experience may be fueled by internalized oppression.
Internalized oppression can look like:
- Feeling like you don’t belong in certain spaces because of your identity.
- Worrying about what others think, even though you’re capable AF.
- Doubting your worth because of your not-so-warm-and-fuzzy upbringing or struggles.
- Feeling anxious about sharing your work, even though you’re great at what you do.
These doubts are inside you because we are shaped by the external, systemic environment we’re in, not because you are “defected”.
I blame the various systems of oppression that have planted this seed of doubt within you and me.
Liberatory Leadership is about uprooting self-doubt and planting self-trust in it’s place with the 3 S’s of Steady Self-Trust.
3 S's of Steady Self-Trust
On speaking up…I believe speaking up happens in tiny conversations, not in front of masses of people.
Sure, Western society loves the people who are able to grab the metaphorical megaphone, get on their soapbox and talk they shit for all to listen.
But that doesn’t work for everyone (and it’s probably not working for you).
Speaking up authentically doesn’t start in front of large groups of people who decide whether you get to be safe or heard.
It starts in smaller moments within tiny conversations so that you can build the skill and confidence of speaking up at any moment.
Like having real, honest conversations with your colleagues about what they are thinking and feeling and whether or not they share your perspective is one example of these tiny conversations.
In these smaller moments, you are building allies, deepening your analysis around how your organization actually operates, developing proposals for things to be different and choosing to speak up collectively.
My approach to speaking up comes from me being a community organizer at heart where I fully believe that the people most impacted by an issue should get to decide the solutions.
The same way I would organize people around issues, is the same way I would organize my coworkers around ideas.
I say that to say, that the same way you use relationship-building skills in your work, is the same way you can use these relationship-building skills with your colleagues.
LET’S WORK TOGETHER 〰️ LET’S WORK TOGETHER 〰️ LET’S WORK TOGETHER 〰️ LET’S WORK TOGETHER 〰️ LET’S WORK TOGETHER 〰️ LET’S WORK TOGETHER 〰️